It’s something I have thought about on more than a few occasions just being who I am. Androgyny though isn’t something all people understand. In a world that attempts to gender us in to neat little categories, and with everyone’s perspective being different androgyny can put you in a world of your own. Because of that, a fundamental understanding of what androgynous means is vital. Androgyny is literally the mix of having traits of males and females, I.E. A women with wide shoulders, a male with a rounded or oval shaped face, et cetera. Many things can make you androgynous. Gender expression for one can make you androgynous. The way you dress, do your hair, and nails, and the way you carry yourself can tell someone about your gender. Your bodily proportions can say a lot about your gender, from the width of your hips, to the shapes of your face. For example, women tend to have rounder faces, and men tend to have squared faces. Men have longer more pronounced noses, and women have bigger lips. A mix of any one of those traits can make you androgynous. Mind you, I find androgyny to be sexy, and would never say any woman with masculine characteristics was unattractive, manly, or otherwise.

Androgynous Woman, or women who have masculine characteristics or expressions. (Left) Neve Campbell (Middle) Unknown (Right) Noomi Rapace
Androgyny in women is still scorned, and to many degrees it differs from society’s ideas of beauty. Few people can pull of androgynous without flack in our society unless they are gorgeously androgynous. Androgyny though, can actually rate against someones attractiveness as a woman. When taking test to find what types of faces I find attractive, I found mens faces more attractive when they were more feminized, and womens faces when they were more masculinized. It is indeed so that androgyny does have a place in high fashion, especially in Europe. However, there is still a wide array of issues in our culture with androgyny because of things like sexism. It is the cultural belief that you must look a certain way as a man, and a another as a woman. Also, the standards of what qualifies as feminine beauty in it are also wholly unrealistic. Even the most unassuming people can be victims of its infectious nature. For a woman to be masculine is equated to being butch, mean, sometimes homosexuality, aggressive and less attractive to the opposite sex. For a man to be feminine is equated to being weak, submissive, homosexuality, a sissy, perverted, and as being less attractive to the opposite sex. Men can also be androgynous, but it is an identity that garners much more scrutiny for men.

Androgynous Men, or men who have feminine characteristics or expressions. (Left) Andrej Pejic (Middle) Justin Bieber (Right) Hyde
Too many degrees the issue with androgyny in our culture among some revolves around the sexualization of androgyny, and other forms of gender rebellion, gender variant persons and behaviors. There is a tendency of the media to sexualize, or sensationalize transgender, transsexuals, or other forms of non-binary gender presentation. Because of this and rampant homophobia and transphobia it becomes an issue of discrimination to be different from the sexists idea of male and female. This is because people are hypersexual, and many aspects of our culture revolve around sex. With that being true, there is a heteronormative expectation among some men that the feel they are entitled to sex with women, and as such entitled to be free of those women being transsexual. It’s a product of both homophobia and transphobia, coupled with the sexist mentality that bring about this. As a culture therefore, the femininity in males is scorned, and deplored, but not because it is genuinely wrong to be feminine as a male, but because of the sexuality of society. Some people have no choice about their femininity, and no one has choice over their gender identities. It’s wrong to discriminate against someone for something that is inherent to who they are as a person. We are all different, and we should be embracing that diversity and not scorning it. Androgyny and beauty aren’t always equated to one another, but the airbrushed beauty of the media world is not a realistic, or achievable standard for femininity or masculinity in real human beings.

Androgynous me, or me in a picture showing both my masculinity and femininity in one image. (Left) Pre-transition (Middle) Pre-Hormone Replacement (Right) 1+ Year of Hormone Replacement.
Opinion may vary, and people may have very deeply rooted personal reasons to say that those like us look male, female or in between. However, I feel it is reasonable to assert that I am androgynous, and that I have and will always be so. I state that proudly, because I am happy about my androgyny, and I will not erase that, or apply false dichotomies of gender to that to make me fit the binaryist mentality of today. I have recently as a person come to accept the blend of masculine and feminine that is me, and it brings me joy with which I will not be parted. No longer in my life will I be made to feel shame for not meeting the standards others place on me, nor will I bend to the opinions of others without evidence supporting such claims. I once was blow about the breeze by those who sought to place me into little boxes, but no longer. I am free to be me. That being said though, I really hope that one day the human race gives up on making such trivial divisions among us, and embrace each other for who they are. Human Beings. I don’t think we can grow as a culture or as a race until we let go of these divisive thoughts about who is who, and what is what. I am totally for learning about the world, but why make a division where there is none on its own? Men are men because they know themselves to be men, and women are women because they know themselves to be women. For each one of us who is not them, I think it’s fair to take them as they present themselves, to accept their identity and not try to impress ours upon them. But until then, to all my gender variant brothers, sisters, neithers, and kindred spirits be well. Let your hearts be like Teflon so that no label but those you choose yourself stick.
Related articles
- How to Enhance Communication between the Sexes: The Androgynous Bridge – Part 1 (psychologytoday.com)
- Man or Woman? Fashion’s Recurring Obsession With Androgynous Models (fabsugar.com)
- Are You Still Interested in Androgynous Models? (fabsugar.com)
- Ask Reneta: Gender Conversations with Mx. Punk (renetaxian.wordpress.com)
- i don’t believe in sex (rainbowgenderpunk.wordpress.com)
- is being trans being sexist? (rainbowgenderpunk.wordpress.com)
- Beyond Male and Female: Gender Trouble, Biology Trouble. (queeringthechurch.com)
- offhand transphobia (rainbowgenderpunk.wordpress.com)
- Contemplating who I am… (renetaxian.wordpress.com)
- Combating Children’s “Confusion” on Sexual Orientation, Gender Diversity (queeringthechurch.com)

greetings by
I’ve set a link there to your post …
you ARE free to be you! in fact, YOU make the world more awesome– don’t deprive it of all the pieces of you! what a rad post!
“Men are men because they know themselves to be men, and women are women because they know themselves to be women.” so veryvery true. actually, this goes for cis and trans people alike. amen.
So very, very true. We just know, like everyone does, what we are but we just happen to be different from most. We all have the capacity to define ourselves; therefore, we don’t need labels to do it. Thank you for your kind words, and of course I’ll do my best to share all my pieces at all times.
I did have a thought though, one I have had a few times. I notice that there are cisgender and transgender people who still seek to affirm the binary, and acknowledge that one side of themselves in accordance with the binary… But I often wonder how many of them are truly non-binary, merely conforming out of the need to fit in. It can be difficult to define it as I see the binary as an imaginary concept, so it makes me wonder what point there is in conforming to illusions. But when I look back at our culture (our world) I realize the profoundness of that statement. The world is filled with illusions people create and fill, and to stand outside of that is an experience all to it’s own, revealing and genuine. Does that mean I have no illusions? Maybe, maybe not. However, I do feel solace in being able to see the box and view the world from outside of it. Therefore, I find joy in the unique perspective being outside of one of the most rigid and callous of all false dichotomies (in my opinion)… “THE GENDER BINARY and it’s erasure of diversity”
So I guess, sometimes I find it strange to find myself full circle, from embracing my androgyny to rejecting it, and returning to fully acknowledge that for the first time and in all that is changed I am still who I am. It’s a revealing self truth, and fascinating external truth to see that people in our world who have more balanced characteristics are better for it. As always I find that being true to who you are is best for yourself as well as those around you.
i think many binary-identified people are truly binary. the thing is, if a woman with many “manly” traits still knows herself to be a woman– she’s binary. right? of course, i also suspect that if gender diversity weren’t such a taboo topic there’d be a few more non-binary people.
so, yeah. i think there’s more diversity than we admit to, but that binary genders are totally valid and real for a shit-ton of people.
rock on!
People can have gender identities that are completely male or female, but I still don’t believe gender is binary. I tend to think of gender as more polar, and view highly polarized genders as just as valid as more neutral, or mixed polarity. However, I still feel that Gender Binary is a false dichotomy as is describing other peoples genders as either binary or non-binary. This is only something I recently started dismantling, so I can’t say for sure if I have fully formulated those ideas in my head yet.
I have spent a lot of time thinking about gender bipolarity, and about whether or not such definitions can encompass all human conditions or not. I think it can. Gender as a bipolar concept as male and female poles, with mixed polarities in the middle (as it would be in a spectrum) but areas for undifferentiated variations. I totally agree that people who have genders at either of those poles are valid as you put it “for a shit-ton of people”. I also agree that there would be more diversity without nonsensical taboos.
no way is gender binary! i agree with you there; i mean, i exist, so… lol. gender isn’t binary, but many people truly are men or women. so we agree on that. telling people what their gender is is silly. bad silly, unlike silly ninjas baking rainbow cupcakes.
however, i don’t think of gender as a spectrum; i think of it as a galaxy! a gigantic gender galaxy with gender planets spinning and comets rushing! where dinosaurs and astronauts exist simultaneously and where nobody can tell someone they’re something they’re not because, well, how can someone argue with you about what PLANET they’re on?! mwa! people can move about as they please– whatever feels right at the moment! people can construct beautiful bridges between the planets! hugehuge bridges of all different kinds for people to live/travel on if they choose! yay!
so i don’t think gender can be described as bipolar; i must disagree with you on this. to use the most readily available example, my own gender isn’t somewhere between male and female. it also isn’t undifferentiated. there is no room for people like me in a world of bipolar gender. yep. i live in the gender galaxy!
Gender Galaxy doesn’t sound all that bad. I mean human beings don’t really understand gender completely anyways, though their are certainly claims thereof. But I understand what you are saying. Do we get our own spaceships might I add, cause if we do I’d probably pitch in for sure. I just really like spaceships, HAHA! As for the other part… Well, if I am going to advocate for a future without the need for such divisions then I guess I aught to think along those lines more consistently.
The bipolar concept is applicable to biology or the morphology of human sex. The poles also aren’t at the ends, but just in the medians of those typologies (I.E. Super Females, Super males et cetera). That’s mostly why I came up with it, to define diversity that isn’t easily categorized with lines where polymorphic manifestations of human sex occur, and my ‘multidimensional’ thought was to explain that once you get individuality there is now another dimension to it. Just like no finger print is the same, no sex or gender map is exactly the same as the other. We still classify babies as either male or female, and that is wrong.
I guess to summarize it, I want a better way for people to understand that our basic sexing / gendering isn’t binary but rather diverse. In the sense of a baby it is both sexed and gendered, but by different methods not always being concurrent. I think it is at the fundamental core of people understanding those who are not encompassed in the binary, and a reason to adopt a new idea. But I feel on some levels if we had less restrictive ways of defining sex, that it would open the door to better more fluid understanding of gender itself within the human experience. I do know I need to be more specific when I am talking about gender verses sex. Even I am guilty of occasionally mixing them up in my usage, I need to break that habit.
It is why I like forum and conversation because it is a way to give greater perspective on things that one mind alone can not provide. As a race our intelligence can be cumulative as we share ideas. In fact, I’d argue that knowledge grows as humans come together more and build upon it. It’s certainly not perfect, it just is. I’ll probably summarize my thoughts on this in a blog at some point.
“…knowledge grows as humans come together more and build upon it.” yes! this is why are conversations are so rad; we debate and confabulate and stretch our brains in new directions. so awesome.
i agree that classifying babies as male or female is wrong. however, i don’t think that will change. personally, i hope for a time when we classify babies as male or female– and accept transness, binary and non-binary, in all people. classifying babies wouldn’t be such a terrible thing if we also taught our children to be true to themselves.
as for the difference between sex and gender… i feel like all trans people might shoot me for writing this, but i’m starting to think of sex as a TYPE of gender as opposed to something totally separate. specifically, i now suspect that sex is simply how we gender our bodies. like, if somebody tells me that i’m a non-binary trans person trapped in a woman’s body, i’m gonna be all, “no. this isn’t a woman’s body; this is MY body. my pussy, my tits, my whole body is non-binary.” does that make sense? am i nuts? i mean, “sex” as we generally define it is a flawed system. as you pointed out, lots of people (cis and trans) don’t fit tidily into “male” or “female”. what about hairy women? tall women? short men? women who have had mastectomies or who have tiny breasts? eunuchs? intersex people? counter tenors? lots of people defy these boundaries– and are still forced into sex categories. …is this heresy? i’d better write a post about this.
and of course you can have a spaceship! everybody needs their own spaceship in case they need to move around between the planets. or discover their own planet. yay!
Great blog. I appreciate your resistance to simply conform to traditional gender norms.