Just a little tidbit from my YouTube Vlog. I recently hit a 2 year milestone of transition with hormones. It makes me very happy, and I have been quite pleasantly surprised by the changes. Honestly though, it’s been really tough at times. This also comes a little over a year since I started blogging on WordPress. There are a lot of thoughts, and matters I’d like to discuss rattling around in my head. I’ll eventually get down the “brass tacks” of those things and blog about them. I have wrote a few unpublished blogs that just haven’t hit the press because, well… I am still formulating an opinion on them. The issues out there we face in the world to be equal are great and the matters around them complex. I do my best with what resources I have at my dispose to discuss them, and I will continue to do so. But for now, I invite you to celebrate with me and watch this video reblog/revlog from my YouTube. Enjoy. This video to me, really illustrates what “Owning my Life” looks like.
2 years: What it’s like to own your life
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[...] magically, reneta just wrote something pretty relevant in a reply to one of my comments on her rad blog. “I think it’s a sign that there is things about [...]
just watched the video (sorry it took me so long) and i’m all leaky and sniffly. like, i’m happy/teary. must…blow…nose…
i’m at a point where i can’t face old pictures of me at all. i can’t even handle mentions of my old name. one day, i hope i’ll be able to see the beauty in my transformation/transcendence/transition. you’re so inspiring, sparkle-cat! mew!
also, you’re ridiculously beautiful inside and out. you probably know that, though. k i’m gonna blow my nose before i drip on the keyboard…
Mx. Punk, You are awesome as always, leakiness and all. I am sorry to hear that you are sick though, but I sends you all the Rene Sparkle-Cat Sparkles I can. If I were one of the seven dwarves, I’d be Sneezy. Runny nose and sneezing is a nearly daily routine for me, and has been for a long, long time, it’s not non-stop, just frequent. No medicine really helps.
That being said, I take your complements with as very high praise. It’s good to hear it, because I don’t always feel it. My journey has been awful lonely, and insular at times, even now. It’s good to know that people can see your good qualities, and that you can see theirs. It means a lot for me to hear that from you. (big kitty smile faces) It also makes me happy to see you smile. My old photos though, still do cause me pain, but I work through it for those things because I do think it’s important for people to have hope. “Don’t return a kindness, pass it on” is the message of this video. I am doing for others what those before me did for me. I looked so “dudely” before I didn’t think I’d be were I am now.
But I was inspired too. I can’t wait for the day that you can be you and look back and say, look at my awesome. You are too awesome a person to not have that. The universe will get it’s ass kicked by The Rene if you don’t get it. But as I said, I truly do understand how triggering it can be to see a you that “isn’t you”. To a degree I have changed enough that I can look back at myself with different eyes, so it’s not as bad. I sends my thought in hope that you will too. Get well soon, mew :3. You made me smile, which raises the number of cupcakes and high fives I owe you to infinity.
hi! we’re totally on the internet at the same time; that strikes me as magical, somehow. huzzah! also, i’m not sick; i got so leaky that my nose started running all over the place. just had a total cry over your video; it’s beautiful. i love the artwork, too!
“To a degree I have changed enough that I can look back at myself with different eyes, so it’s not as bad.”
the first thing that jumped into my head when i read this was, “when i get top surgery, i might be able to look at pictures of me with tits and feel ok about it.” just jumped right into my think-tank. my brain is trying to tell me something, i think.
(note to brain: buy/steal a pencil and some sticky notes, learn to write, write on sticky notes, stick them to my eyeballs. it would be easier than you going all hinty-hinty on me.)
thanks for passing on the message, sparkle-cat. it means a lot. <3
I was also thinking that it was a “magical coincidence” that we’d be online simultaneously. Ironically, I was even thinking about you, because I have a shout out to you in my post I am working on finishing as we comment here. I am also profoundly more moved because you got that teary eyed over my video. I honestly didn’t connect the two for some reason.
Also, I think I agree with your comment about “top surgery”. I think it’s a sign that there is things about your body you feel are holding you back as a person. I agree. Having things about your body that gender you differently from how you feel you are hurt… and they hurt a lot. I will be crossing my fingers and hoping for you to get what you need as well to feel right as rain. Wait, if you put sticky notes on you eyeballs you won’t be able to see, and you’ll bump into things like my kitty used to because he couldn’t figure how to get them off his face. It was just the first thing to pop into my mind. Anyhow, take care. The world is more awesome with you in it. <3
yay for magic!
“I think it’s a sign that there is things about your body you feel are holding you back as a person.”
oh, wow. i’m working on a post right now and this is literally what i was tring to put into words. mind if i quote you with a link-back?
thanks for you kind words, sparkle-cat; they mean a lot to me. you always have good advice and you’re always rocking my think-tank by just saying what i’m struggling with. thank you!
i don’t think my brain will listen, anyway; don’t worry about me bumping into things. my brain likes to tease me.
actually, i walk around reading all the time, so i already bump into things a shit-ton. mew!
As always you are totally welcome to do that. That is rather ironic that I am writing a post about an issue that you helped me with, and that you were a catalyst in a lot of things I discovered, and I am doing the same in return. Think Tank Band world tour! :3
You did, however, put amusing pictures in my head of you walking around the house bumping into things, mew! My brain teases me too, but it also helps make rad things so I let it get away with it.
If I am not correct though, this isn’t the first time our “think tank” has been rolling at the same time posting stuffs. As I always say, “Great minds think alike, or perhaps insane ones due too”. Insanity and Genius go together and they are tonnes of fun. :3
i’m just so happy right now, it’s fucking silly. and silly = awesome.
it’s PLASMIC how often we do stuff like this, giving each other support on similar issues at different times and stuff. ya think tank band! <3
i'm totally getting off the computer, now. cuz my eyeballs might explode, otherwise (i've been on the computer for about 2 hours, which is a fucking marathon for me). goodnight and huzzah! also, thanks agian for all the awesome.
i meant “yay thik tank band!” oops. k. must…rest…eyeballs…
i also spelled “again” incorrectly.” i’m basically abusing your comment thread, now. yay?
Rene <3 you either way, rest well my friend. :3